The Only Exception

August 29, 2010

I don’t believe in serious relationships in high school.

That much commitment just leads to people getting hurt.

“Things” are easier to have; less complicated, and more realistic.

The problem is, I always find the exception.

You’re the exception.

It started out as a non-committed, anti-serious “thing,” but now it’s more.

I’m afraid of this.

I love this.

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Hesitation…

August 24, 2010

“Are you two dating?”

“Well… Yes.”

I’m not disappointed or ashamed to be with you, It’s simply the way I am.

I’m proud of us, but I don’t like labels. Okay, that sounds cliche, but it’s easier that way.

We don’t follow a path, our relationships changes all the time, that’s what it’s supposed to do. If labels are put to it and people know us as “dating,” then when our relationship shifts, problems arise.

Also, when two people are considered to be dating, they are clumped together as one person. I’m not you and you’re not me. I don’t want people only associating us with each other.

I care about you, I respect you, and I trust you. It’s because I care that I answer with hesitation, not knowing what to call us.

Prospect of Creation

August 17, 2010

Looking at my class schedule for this semester, you wouldn’t see anything worth noting.

  1. Literature
  2. Composition
  3. Math
  4. Spanish 3
  5. Chemistry
  6. American History

I, on the other hand, am anticipating jumping right into number 2 on that list.

8 essays to write over the course of the first semester. The expected response of “Ugh… great.” isn’t present in my mind. Instead, I am thrilled to get my ideas down on paper.

To each their own.

Punishment…?

August 16, 2010

My dad is passive aggressive. When he is upset or angry with me, he does one or many of the following:

  • Makes himself dinner and neglects to tell me it’s ready. Result: Kelsey gets cold dinner.
  • Meticulously cleans the entire house and leaves my room and bathroom untouched. Result: Kelsey has to clean instead of eating her cold dinner.
  • Pretends he is asleep when I get home late so I don’t get an “I love you” or a hug. (They mean more to me than he realizes)
  • Tells me he will do my laundry. That would be nice, but he “forgets” to put it in the dryer. Result: Kelsey has to rewash her sour clothes.

Last but not least…

  • Right before bed, he puts in earplugs (like he usually does), turns his television on, way louder than necessary, and locks his door. Result: Kelsey can’t get to sleep because the Jay Leno show is blasting from his bedroom.

Hey, at least I don’t get yelled at, right?

Let’s Do This

August 12, 2010

Meteor shower tonight.

Up at the cabin with Casey and Ben.

I’m liking the sound of this.

“See You Tomorrow”

August 5, 2010

The more time you spend with someone, the more comfortable you get with them. When you see someone on a daily basis, you achieve this comfort.

Being this secure with a friend can cost you the exciting aspect of your relationship. The comfort can wipe away all surface connections, the fun crazy times that make the friendship worth while.

Luckily, I have the comfort along with the surface relationship. When I need a shoulder to cry on, they are there. When I want to wreck havoc in public, I go to them. They are a package deal, everything I could ask for embodied in only a few people.

Chemistry exists among us, each person a key ingredient to the fully functioning and amazing friendships.

Comfort doesn’t cost anything with us. It’s come with experiences shared, and those experiences will continue to bring us closer and keep us just as socially deranged as we’ve always been.

Only Us

August 5, 2010

If only I could count the inside jokes acquired over this summer.

“I like your peacock.” -Riley Jacobs

“Everyone likes a lemon.” -Ben Nelson

“That’s kinda like a zombie; it can teleport.” -Casey Dark

“Look at that gap! It’s at least three lanes.” -Johnny Badass

Balance

August 2, 2010

I’m a person who believes in a mild form of Karma.

“Do good and good things will happen to you.”

This is true, but some clarification should be made: You have to be doing good for the right reasons. Selflessness is the key. Do good not because you want to benefit from it, but plainly because it is right.

Now people say “I’m a good person, so why do shitty things always happen to me?”

There are two realizations people need to come to:

  1. Bad things are often good. Say you have experienced a death in the family, or a divorce, or a unique difficult situation. These are experiences that teach you about life. They make you a better, stronger, and conscious person. Simply put: wisdom through experience.
  2. Good things aren’t simply things like getting a pay raise or getting a good grade on a paper. Step back and look at the big picture. You aren’t starving. You aren’t homeless. You are in good health.

After writing all of this, I’m starting to realize that maybe Karma isn’t the best way to explain what I believe in.

Life is full of good and bad. Good things happen to us, and bad things happen to us. No exceptions. I guess what keeps me sane is being grateful for the things that make me happy and growing and learning from the painful experiences.

Fear

August 1, 2010

I’ve never been more afraid to do something in my life.

After the car accident, I sucked it up and drove. Nobody was hurt, and it was an accident.

Until a UHaul truck ran their red light. If I hadn’t sped up the way I did, my car would have been spun into the intersection.

Again, I told myself it would all be fine and continued to drive.

Already wired, scared, jumpy, and paranoid, a car ran their red light yet again. Slamming on my brakes, I told myself I shouldn’t be driving.

I’m done driving for a while.