March 31, 2011
Three weeks ago: Absent for memory loss, confusion, and expressive aphasia due to medication reaction.
Two weeks ago: Babysat, home alone, recovering my memory, personality, and ability to function
Last week: Late start every day because of CSAPs; very little work to be done.
The week: Absent due to cold.
Now, that’s a lot of school days missed. I’ve been sitting here wallowing in my own anxiety, considering the hours of make-up work ahead of me.
School is the only thing that really makes me depressed. It’s full of anxiety… I can’t stand it sometimes.
I couldn’t bring myself to look at my grades (I knew they would just make me more upset). That is, until today…
Really? Only two classes I should be worrying about? Actually, speech, math, spanish, chemistry, and history isn’t that much to worry about.
All I have to worry about now is keeping this frame of mind. Fuck being bipolar…
March 29, 2011
WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. Last beverage: grape juice
2. Last phone call: Tj Lesmeister
3. Last text message: Mom
4. Last song you listened to: Little Lion Man by Mumford and Sons
5. Last time you cried: 4 days ago
HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone: ummm… ya haha
7. Been cheated on: Yes. But we worked through it
8. Kissed someone & regretted it: Never
9. Lost someone special: yes
10. Been depressed: I don’t think this one needs to be addressed….
11. Been drunk and threw up: To many times to count
LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS: (Right now)
THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2011)
15. Made a new friend: Mmhmm
16. Fallen out of love: No (:
17. Laughed until you cried: Not yet, unfortunately
18. Met someone who changed you: Nope
19. Found out who your true friends were: More now than ever
21. Kissed anyone on your FB friend’s list: Yes
22. How many people on your FB friends list do you know in real life: 92%
24. Do you have any pets: One dog, Dexter, and one cat, Annie
25. Do you want to change your name: I’ve thought about it
26. What did you do for your last birthday: Went snowboarding
27. What time did you wake up today: Noonish
28. What were you doing at midnight last night: Talking on Skype
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: The rest of my life
30. Last time you saw your Mother: About a week ago
31.What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: Nothing: I wouldn’t be the person I am today
32. What are you listening to right now: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghZt2cILcCU
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Haha yes. Good memories
34. What’s getting on your nerves right now: Nothing at the moment… Maybe that I’m not doing anything with anyone
35. Most visited webpage: Facebook
37. Nicknames: …Kels? Idk, none
38. Relationship Status: With the man I love
39. Zodiac sign: Scorpio
40. He or She: She
41. Elementary School: Kruse
43. College: CSU probably… not sure.
44. Hair color: Red at the moment 😉
45. Long or short: Long
46. Height: 5 foot 7 ish
47. Do you have a crush on someone? I’m faithful, but thoughts wander during times of stress….
48. What do you like about yourself?: My eyes
49. Piercings: Ears; one on the right, two on the left. Possibly lip ring soon… What do ya think?
51. Righty or lefty: Righty
52. First surgery: Age two
54. First best friend: Sydney McDonald
55. First sport you joined: Tennis, #1 doubles 😉
56. First vacation: Not sure. To young to remember
58. First crush?: Sean Arr… can’t spell (: Kindergarten
59. Eating: Nothing
60. Drinking: Grape juice still
61. I’m about to: Paint my nails… Red
62. Listening to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvp8yIsgcpo
63. Waiting for: Nobody
YOUR FUTURE :
64. Want kids?: Yes. Little girl named Lilly
65. Get Married?: Yes
66. Career?: Psychiatrist or writer. Ah, dreams…
WHICH IS BETTER :
67. Lips or eyes: Eyes, the gateway to the soul. They indicate it’s antiquity
68. Hugs or kisses: Both
69. short or tall: Tall, but short works too
70. Older or Younger: Doesn’t matter
71.Romantic or spontaneous: A little of both
72. Nice butt or nice chest: Chest
73. Sensitive or loud: A balance
74. Hook-up or relationship: Hook-ups make you appreciate relationships
75. Trouble maker or hesitant: Smart trouble maker
HAVE YOU EVER :
76. Kissed a stranger: Yes
77. Drank hard liquor: Only acceptable with cranberry juice or Coke
78. Lost glasses/contacts: I keep track of my glasses
79. Been on a date: Of course
80. Broken someone’s heart: Yes…
81. Had your own heart broken: Yes
82. Been arrested: I’m not stupid enough to get caught 😉
83. Turned someone down: Only that one time… He was high and my boyfriend was in the car
84. Cried when someone died: Of course
85. Fallen for a friend: Those are the best
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself: I try
87.Miracles: Yes. To a point
88. Love at first sight: Yes, definitely. But it lasting? Maybe…
89. Heaven: Nope
90. Santa Claus: I wish
91. Kiss on the first date: Eh, depends.
92. Angels: No
93. Had more than one gf/bf: Not at the same time, but yes
94. Do you try to talk to guys/girls even when your in a relationship: I make better friends with guys, so yes
95. Did you sing today: Nope, coughing to much
96. Ever cheated on somebody: Yes…
97.Do you plan on cheating: Never again
98.If you could pick a day from last year and get rid of it, what would it be: None. They all count
99.Who do you think about?: Life
100. Are you Afraid of posting this as 100 truth?: Umm… Why would I be?
March 18, 2011
I just don’t compare.
Only temporarily fixable.
Honestly, not really worth it.
March 11, 2011
I have gone from 7 pills a night to 2.
I’m anxious and depressed… again.
Confused, forgetful, and lonely.
Crying just isn’t enough.
March 6, 2011
i opened this to post a new blog
thing is, i dont remember what i was going to say
maybe it was the fact that i cant remember anything
on and off
i need taken care of even
“where am i driving?”
“what was i talking about?”