Fear

April 5, 2011

I had a memory lapse yesterday. I sat through my first period speech class and did absolutely fine. Then, suddenly, when the bell rang, I couldn’t remember where to go; what to do. The teacher took me down to the office where my father picked me up. I slept for a while, then took a chance and drove to mom’s.

This morning I woke up with an anxiety attack, crying. I stayed home as a result.

I woke up around noon to terrible leg pain. I told mom, and her face went blank. She checked my eyes, my muscles… she thought I had had a stroke. So… she called my psy. and told him what all was going on. Again, he called back and told me to stop taking all my meds except seroquel. He said he was really concerned that the symptoms had come back.

Now, I’ve been sitting at mom’s alone trying to get caught up on school work. I’m terrified I will lose my mind, and nobody is here to babysit me (Casey was my only hope, and he told me he had a birthday party to go to). I get a phone call from my mother (5:00). She is very worried, and says she will make a Dr. appt for tomorrow. “What’s going on?” I asked. “You may be having blood clots travel from your legs, arms, ect. to your brain.”

I can’t describe how terrified I am right now. Not only do I have depression and anxiety issues to deal with, but I could have a life threatening problem thatĀ  has progressed for over a month.

I need help… I need support… It’s time for me to be on the receiving end opposed to the giving.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: