Permanent state of solitude… *sigh*

July 3, 2011

In the words of a good friend, today has been awfully nostalgic.

I don’t mean from my childhood; mostly just what’s happened in the past few years.

Going through almost every digital photo I’ve taken, I’m grateful I have the memories to keep. Most of the friendships, relationships, and situations turned sour over time, but that doesn’t, by any means, mean I regret them.

In most cases, people turned out to be not as genuine or true as they said they were. Love faded, trust collapsed, and bonds were broken. I’ve been spending a lot of time wishing I had those times between the beginnings and endings back. Right when things seemed perfect.

Then again, knowing what I know now about said people, I don’t know if I could do it… ignorance sure is bliss.

I feel unable to love others the same way I once did. I expected the best out of people, and they usually gave it to me… but now?

My walls are permanent. If you’re already in my heart, fantastic: we have each other. If you’ve managed to do something that makes me push you away?: you’re shit outta luck.

I guess I better treasure what I have now because I don’t see anyone new being let into my heart anytime soon.

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