To Whom It May Concern…

April 17, 2013

There is so much I have left bottled up inside. I guess that’s what happens when I can no longer talk to my best friend.
I suppose this will have to do. Letters written to nobody.
After months without medication I will finally be put back on SOMETHING to help with this uncontrollable anxiety. New doctor, new meds, new possibilities. If only what’s happened during those months was just as easily fixed…
There’s two Kelsey’s: Crazy Kelsey and Sane Kelsey. Sane Kelsey is happy, rational, loving, hopeful, and an overall positive person. Crazy Kelsey is just the opposite.
Crazy Kelsey has just about ruined my life. I tried pushing her down, ignoring her, but in the end it brought me to do things I would have otherwise never done and say things I would never say. I can only say “I’m sorry” so many times to those I’ve hurt before it stops having meaning…
I guess this is another beginning for me. There have been many but this one is more tabula rasa than the rest. The best thing I can do is let Sane Kelsey wake up from her hibernation and take on what’s left of the life I have.
Here’s to getting back to the old me, the sane me, the happy me, and trying my hardest to mend what I’ve broken.

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