The Things I Keep To Myself…

April 18, 2013

At least once a day I pick up my phone to text you something. Then, I remember that I can’t. I keep these to myself; little snippets of life that I can only really share with you.

That girl from the Alley Cat? The cute one that works there with the blonde hair? She had her baby. It’s a girl and she named her Atlas.

Grandma K’s chemo isn’t working. She is looking through wig catalogs and starting to get confused…

I signed up for summer classes. Ethics, Intro to Lit, and Human Genetics, all online. Screw Vet Tech, I’ll just be a geneticist. Can’t be that difficult, right?

I only have one bag of tea left from our trip to Boulder. They only sell it during Christmas. I’m saving it for a special occasion.

Pixel digs in the snow just like Maggie used to. He pounces around like a baby deer. The little spazz keeps bringing in chunks of ice that melt on the carpet.

I can’t drink caffeine anymore. It gives me anxiety attacks. You know, the ones I used to get at night? Just like that, but during the day. I can’t even go to Walmart without getting dizzy and nauseous. I hope this doctor can find something to help on Friday…

I have to get my 5 tattoo touched up again. I swear, that thing is NEVER going to hold ink right.

Jared’s baby passed away. He had a mitochondrial disorder. He was only 10 months old.

My grandpa got put into a nursing home after calling the cops on grandma. He wouldn’t let her leave the house. They broke his hip after being there 2 days. A nurse pushed him over a table when he wouldn’t calm down. He is being sent somewhere closer to the family but dad is considering going back out there until July.

Two more of my goldfish died. There are four left. The biggest one got attacked and has a crooked tail now. Don’t worry, Hitler is still alive. I’m thinking he’s the culprit.

Walter died. I feel bad, like me hating him made him die faster. He was the nastiest, meanest little hamster but he still deserved to be loved.

I think Blastoise is a zombie turtle. He has been hibernating since it got really cold. Every time I check on him I expect him to not move, but he always does. What a trooper.

I taught Pixel how to bring me his blankie. You know the purple and blue one I sewed for dad? He won’t let me have it back. I guess he can keep it. He won’t go to sleep without it now. I have to cover his little spoiled butt up every night.

That girl Amanda, the one I went to Kruse with? You know, the one with the British flag tattoo? She brushed out her dreadlocks. I know, right? You can DO that!? It looks totally normal now. I kind of wish I would have tried dreads… long, red dreads.

I took my eyebrow piercing out. It didn’t scar. Like, at all, which is ridiculous considering I have a tumor sized scar in my ear from my second piercing. I think I’m going to leave it out and let it close up. I’m not cholo enough to rock the brow metal.

I met this girl at the Alley Cat. She complimented me on my fox tattoo and said that I looked familiar. She knew about all my tattoos. Apparently one of her friends had showed her my Facebook and she saw all my tattoos. I wonder who else has tattoo-cyber-stalked me…

The furnace is breaking. It only stays on a little while at a time. That’s probably why I feel obligated to tuck Pixel in at night. It’s not to freezing downstairs, just enough to warrant another few blankets. Poor dad, he can’t catch a break with the house appliances breaking…

I really miss the TV in the basement. It made it feel warmer down there. Dad turns the TV in the kitchen on as loud as it will go and opens all the doors. He can’t fall asleep if it’s quite. He just started turning on the little VCR TV at night. I think he’s watched the Expendables 2 about 50 times in his sleep. I should switch out movies for him.

I found a bunch of grandpa Pete’s old sweaters at grandma’s house. They still smell like him. I’m afraid to wash them.


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