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June 1, 2013

I spend a majority of my life trying to help other people.

I offer a shoulder to cry on, a roof over people’s heads, money when necessary, and unconditional love.

What do I get in return? Being called manipulative, a whore, a stalker, a person who “lures in guys then tears them apart.” I also am told on the regular that there is nobody in the world who actually cares about me.

All I can do is hold my head up high and know that what I do for those I love is caring, compassionate, and that I am trying my hardest to be a good person.

Now that I spend more time on myself, trying to get myself healthy and happy, a small amount of distance is placed between me, my friends, and loved ones. Because of this distance, everyone get’s angry and harsh. Because of this distance I get told terrible things.

The more this happens, the worse it gets. I suppose I’m being scarred, over and over again, showing me that the only person in the world I can trust is myself.

It’s me, myself, and I. People come and go, show compassion then rip at my heart. I guess this is where I begin my secluded, strong, and self loving chapter of my life.

Thanks, everyone, for making me the person I never thought I would be: untrusting, seeing the bad in people, and believing that no good deed goes unpunished.

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